Ask Maureen

17 December, 2020

Maureen Koyne

Hello Dear Readers.

As a Therapist in a local practice, I get to see a lot of people who have suffered some sort of loss.   Loss of a job through redundancy, ill health, or retirement.  Everyone will experience this process of dealing with loss in their own way.

Time, they say is a great healer.  But what if after that period of mourning and grief; the person has not got over it?

Instead they go into a depressed state.  Or become anxious about the future.  What if they are caught up in a cycle of regret, self-blame, and guilt.

In a lot of cases the person will go to their GP who may prescribe, anti-depressants, anxiolytics, or refer them to someone like me. Or A close relative or friend may suggest that they see someone to” fix them”.

My experience is that people will only come when they are ready.  For some it may take years, and other’s months.  What they find is that when they share their difficulties and have their feeling validated.  They experience a sense of releasing of a great burden that has weighed them down.  I work with people in a “person centred way.”  That is, I believe that given enough time, space in therapy that the person through sharing their experience finds their own solutions.

Positive changes occur life seems brighter more manageable when people are ready to accept help.  They work with me to come up with their own solutions of finding their way back to normality again.   I say normality, for that is what most people say they want to get back to.   Just to be normal again.  Normal for them is not experiencing the pain of loss, of their loved one, or the despondency of not having a job, a routine, or of a meaningful existence; for part of their experience is that somewhere in their psyche they believe that their life is somehow over, or not as purposeful, or meaningful to them anymore. They tell me that they just wish for peace of mind.

Furthermore, some may hold the belief that they are not a whole person, and to compound things they may experience the strain of reduced finances.  For them, their whole way of life has changed, and they cannot find their way back to those familiar feelings of what was the norm.

At the time they truly believe this.  However, as we make progress at the persons own pace, healing begins.  And the person is renewed and revitalised once again, ready to take up the threads of their life.

This Christmastide take time to share your cares and concerns with loved ones don’t keep them to yourself.

There is an old proverb a problem shared is a problem halved.

Christmas is about giving, so if you can give someone your time to listen then that could be the greatest gift of all.

Be of good cheer.  May Peace Joy and Happiness be with you now and into the New Year.


Maureen x


Sign up for our newsletter

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.